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It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is
quick to quarrel. Proverbs 20:3
I came by my strong-willed, hardheaded, controlling genes
quite naturally. My father, who also had a very strong will, and I
struggled often in our battle of wills. I constantly wanted him to
change, and I’m sure he wanted me to change too. Sometimes I
got very angry when he couldn’t do what I thought he should. As
a matter of fact, we struggled with each other and our strong wills
all the way up until four weeks ago.
Four weeks ago I woke up to a beautiful fall day The sky was
blue and clear with not a single cloud. The air was dry, and the
temperature was perfect. But I wasn’t so perfect. I had received a
call from my brother two days earlier that weighed heavily on my
mind. My dad was sick, and my brother said I needed to make
peace with him, to resolve our differences. He knew that Dad and
I were struggling; this was nothing new. As I got in my car that
morning to go to my Bible study class, I decided to focus on getting
some advice about dealing with this situation. You see, I didn’t
want to face it, because I knew my dad and I would just get into
another battle of wills. When I got to class, a piece of paper was
sitting in my seat. This is what it said.
When a hawk is attacked by crows or kingbirds, he
does not make a counterattack, but soars higher and higher
in ever-widening circles until his tormentors leave him
alone.
The hawk is a powerful adversary. If he chose to fight,
no doubt he would win. But he chooses to fly above all
the clatter and fuss by spiraling upward.
All of us have people who make our lives difficult, either
directly or subtly. Perhaps you are under fire today . . .
The hawk teaches a valuable lesson. The better part of
valor is avoiding strife . . . flying above your tormentors.
Just drop the whole matter and leave the scene. Fighting,
even when someone else initiates the fight, might exact a
greater price than you want to pay in defense and counterattacks.
If you choose to soar above it all, then you have
focused on a loftier goal and have left your opponents to
their own devices.
Why not resolve to spiral upward—above and beyond
the conflict—into the very presence of God? Time spent
with Him makes tense situations more bearable.
From a book by J. Silvera
Wow, was this a sign?
When my class was over, I felt better. I had discussed my
situation with my dad, and I had gotten some good advice on
what to say to him and how to say it. I got in my car, opened
the sunroof, and as I started to drive away, my cell phone rang.
It was my brother, calling to tell me that our dad had just died.
I was shocked. We hadn’t expected him to die, and I was very
upset. I drove home and just sat in my car in my driveway,
crying and thinking. As I leaned my head back against the headrest
and looked out through the sunroof into the bright blue
sky, I saw, directly overhead, a hawk, circling and circling until
finally he flew off. I looked over on the front seat, and there
was the piece of paper with the lesson from the hawk. I couldn’t
believe it. How did that hawk appear at that exact moment?
Then I read the handwritten note on the paper:
Friends . . .
We cannot change another person! We can only change
ourselves and how we react to circumstances. When we
invite Christ into our homes . . . Big things will happen
and hearts will be changed!
Now I notice so many signs each day of God’s constant presence
in our world and in my life. If we take off our blinders, slow
down, and become aware, we will see signs of His presence everywhere.
Saturday, ten days ago, as my brother, sister, and I released our
dad’s ashes into the bay behind his home on another beautiful,
cloudless, blue-sky day, we said our good-byes and I felt his presence.
At that moment, a lone fighter jet flew overhead, soared upward,
and tipped its wing. My dad was a fighter. Coincidence? I
don’t think so.
Dear Lord, thank You for being with us everywhere every day. Help
us to be sensitive to signs of your presence. Amen.
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Women's Community Bible Study
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